Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a 28 day writing challenge. I've not seen sunlight in days.
If you’re here by accident, call the police.
I’m losing track of how many stairs I’ve descended.
In fact, I can’t even recall where I am.
The shaft is wide and endlessly deep, the spiral staircase increasingly rickety and exposed to the depths. It’s getting darker as I go, and I’ve long since stopped trying to use my phone; no one is answering right now, and the signal has faded with the daylight above me.
There is a dreamlike quality to this scene, but I can smell the decay of wood, hear the urgent whispers of rusting iron nails, and can see my breath in the cold half light as the platform shifts under my weight.
Peering carefully over the edge, a frown I was unaware of deepens; the stairs continue, jerking down in an eccentric manner, almost defying perspective, into somewhere far darker than black.
I like a good metaphor as much as the next person, but this is unsettling me now. I think about turning round and heading back. Up, to the distant light.
My phone buzzes in the darkness. Finally!
A text message awaits me:
You can't walk away now.
And behind me, someone chuckles darkly.
Indigo
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2013
OMG... that gave me chills! Excellent! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Barb! Thank you ma'am, glad you enjoyed it. It didn't start out spooky, but life rarely does ;) Indigo
DeleteYou're scaring me, Indigo. I hope you get out of this alright and are able to continue participating in the rest of the writing challenge.
ReplyDeleteHey Dufus! No worries, I think I got home safe? Tho it's hard to be sure when your best friend owns a time machine. Indigo
DeleteOh...I'd walk away. I'd walk really fast...and I'd talk to myself. I'd talk to the person in back of me. Trust me - they'd rather kill themselves than kill me -- to put themselves out their misery. They probably would fear I'd come back to haunt them and never shut up...kinda like "Ghost".
ReplyDeleteDitto!
DeleteNow this is what I call writing...not that stuff I've been trying to do over at my blog. Nicely done. You drew me in from the get-go and I couldn't walk away.
ReplyDeleteHey Bryan, thank you, that's a very cool thing to say. And "Pshht!" sir, I enjoyed it way more over at your place. You have the best music, dancing monkeys, rootbeer and (duh) cookies. Indigo
DeleteCan't walk. But can you run?
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done.
Hey Shawn! You know, I'm so dim, that didn't occur to me? Still, my limb count seems correct, and all of them are attached, so it wasn't a disaster... And thank you, you're too kind. Indigo
DeleteFantastic writing yet again!
ReplyDeleteI must confess though, that I misread "peering" for "peeing" which gave that sentence an entirely different image!
Hey Amy! Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. And fear not, this is a "non-peeing" compartment. Tho it's more fragrant in the next carriage. Wowsers! Indigo
DeleteOhh! Rickety stairs, darker than black... You've just described my dream home!
ReplyDeleteA fantastic, menacing piece of writing, Indigo, I loved it. :)
Hey Ziva! Hah, I'm glad I could conjure something up for you. And thank you Z, that's quite a compliment =) Indigo x
DeleteNicely done Indigo! :) slightly scary, but dark...I like dark.
ReplyDeleteAh, Vicus old boy! What a pleasure to see you here! You like dark? Ooooh, got chocolate? Indigo
DeleteVery atmospheric. Hey it's dark, darker than black in my kitchen as I type!!
ReplyDeleteHey Jack! Hah, I've been in your kitchen, and it gets mighty dark there, as dark as it gets. Indigo
DeleteWasn't expecting this to come from that prompt, and for that you deserve pointy-points! (Like regular points, only pointier) That chuckling part made my skin crawl :)
ReplyDeleteHey Jenn! Thank you, I do like to surprise a lady. And ooooh, I get POINTY POINTS?! Sweet! How many?! Indigo x
DeleteIt isn't about the number, it's about the pointy-ness :)
DeleteHey Jenn! Oh my, I couldn't agree more! I love pointy x
DeleteWalk? I'd be running! Very chilling, indeed. Enjoyed it!!
ReplyDeleteHey Linda! Glad you enjoyed it, there's no finer praise for an old scribbler like me =) Indigo
DeleteTurn around and whip some butt! Fight, fight, fight!
ReplyDeleteHey P.J.! Hey, I remember you. You were always hanging around the playground, ready to tattle on us to a teacher at the first hint of fistycuffs. I'd like to thank you, you saved me many a beating from older, stupid, ugly boys. Indigo
Delete*queue skreechy music* we need more - more of the story ... to be continued?
ReplyDeleteHey Tami! Not a hope, my laundry bill couldn't take it! But I'm happy to leave you wanting more ;) Indigo
DeleteI actually got a cold chill when I reached the end of this! Well done, Sir.
ReplyDeleteHey Linda! Cold chill? *tick* My work here is done! Indigo x
DeleteAmazingly creepy and amazingly wonderful. Now I'm going to ruin it by admitting something. I am tired. I need glasses... and I have a drink next to me. I read "Peering carefully over the edge" as "Peeing carefully over the edge." I am OH SO SORRY.
ReplyDeleteHey Katherine! I forgive you, we're all strung out by this time. And good grief, there's so much of it left. Indigo x
DeleteI'm convinced that this scary story is actually about Nicky and Mike's 30 Days Minus 2 of Writing. And that truly is frightening.
ReplyDeleteHey Mike! I'm looking ahead at the prompts, and it sure scares the hell out of me. Indigo
DeleteThat dark chuckling will get you every time.
ReplyDeletePearl
Hey Pearl! What was that about Chuck the Duckling? Indigo x
DeleteIs this what they call a self-referential extended metaphor? I love the structure of this post. You start off in heavy figurative language, then call attention to it as if you're going to write plainly in the remaining sentences, and then you cap it with something abstract. As a reader, I was pleasantly surprised.
ReplyDeleteAlso, great descriptive language. It all felt very menacing.
Hey KZ! Well, I can honestly say you thought more about it than I did =) But Sir, I'm pleased you liked it, whatever I did. Indigo
Delete