Thursday, February 07, 2013

The Seventh Scrape

There are seven rough lines scraped into the cell wall beside me.

Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a 28 day writing challenge. I've not seen sunlight in days.

If you’re here by accident, call the police.





I’m losing track of how many stairs I’ve descended.

In fact, I can’t even recall where I am.

The shaft is wide and endlessly deep, the spiral staircase increasingly rickety and exposed to the depths. It’s getting darker as I go, and I’ve long since stopped trying to use my phone; no one is answering right now, and the signal has faded with the daylight above me.

There is a dreamlike quality to this scene, but I can smell the decay of wood, hear the urgent whispers of rusting iron nails, and can see my breath in the cold half light as the platform shifts under my weight.

Peering carefully over the edge, a frown I was unaware of deepens; the stairs continue, jerking down in an eccentric manner, almost defying perspective, into somewhere far darker than black.

I like a good metaphor as much as the next person, but this is unsettling me now. I think about turning round and heading back. Up, to the distant light.

My phone buzzes in the darkness. Finally!

A text message awaits me:

You can't walk away now.

And behind me, someone chuckles darkly.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2013




38 comments:

  1. OMG... that gave me chills! Excellent! :)

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    1. Hey Barb! Thank you ma'am, glad you enjoyed it. It didn't start out spooky, but life rarely does ;) Indigo

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  2. You're scaring me, Indigo. I hope you get out of this alright and are able to continue participating in the rest of the writing challenge.

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    1. Hey Dufus! No worries, I think I got home safe? Tho it's hard to be sure when your best friend owns a time machine. Indigo

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  3. Oh...I'd walk away. I'd walk really fast...and I'd talk to myself. I'd talk to the person in back of me. Trust me - they'd rather kill themselves than kill me -- to put themselves out their misery. They probably would fear I'd come back to haunt them and never shut up...kinda like "Ghost".

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  4. Now this is what I call writing...not that stuff I've been trying to do over at my blog. Nicely done. You drew me in from the get-go and I couldn't walk away.

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    1. Hey Bryan, thank you, that's a very cool thing to say. And "Pshht!" sir, I enjoyed it way more over at your place. You have the best music, dancing monkeys, rootbeer and (duh) cookies. Indigo

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  5. Can't walk. But can you run?

    Beautifully done.

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    1. Hey Shawn! You know, I'm so dim, that didn't occur to me? Still, my limb count seems correct, and all of them are attached, so it wasn't a disaster... And thank you, you're too kind. Indigo

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  6. Fantastic writing yet again!

    I must confess though, that I misread "peering" for "peeing" which gave that sentence an entirely different image!

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    1. Hey Amy! Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed. And fear not, this is a "non-peeing" compartment. Tho it's more fragrant in the next carriage. Wowsers! Indigo

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  7. Ohh! Rickety stairs, darker than black... You've just described my dream home!

    A fantastic, menacing piece of writing, Indigo, I loved it. :)

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    1. Hey Ziva! Hah, I'm glad I could conjure something up for you. And thank you Z, that's quite a compliment =) Indigo x

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  8. Nicely done Indigo! :) slightly scary, but dark...I like dark.

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    1. Ah, Vicus old boy! What a pleasure to see you here! You like dark? Ooooh, got chocolate? Indigo

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  9. Very atmospheric. Hey it's dark, darker than black in my kitchen as I type!!

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    1. Hey Jack! Hah, I've been in your kitchen, and it gets mighty dark there, as dark as it gets. Indigo

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  10. Wasn't expecting this to come from that prompt, and for that you deserve pointy-points! (Like regular points, only pointier) That chuckling part made my skin crawl :)

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    1. Hey Jenn! Thank you, I do like to surprise a lady. And ooooh, I get POINTY POINTS?! Sweet! How many?! Indigo x

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    2. It isn't about the number, it's about the pointy-ness :)

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    3. Hey Jenn! Oh my, I couldn't agree more! I love pointy x

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  11. Walk? I'd be running! Very chilling, indeed. Enjoyed it!!

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    1. Hey Linda! Glad you enjoyed it, there's no finer praise for an old scribbler like me =) Indigo

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  12. Turn around and whip some butt! Fight, fight, fight!

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    1. Hey P.J.! Hey, I remember you. You were always hanging around the playground, ready to tattle on us to a teacher at the first hint of fistycuffs. I'd like to thank you, you saved me many a beating from older, stupid, ugly boys. Indigo

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  13. *queue skreechy music* we need more - more of the story ... to be continued?

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    1. Hey Tami! Not a hope, my laundry bill couldn't take it! But I'm happy to leave you wanting more ;) Indigo

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  14. I actually got a cold chill when I reached the end of this! Well done, Sir.

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    1. Hey Linda! Cold chill? *tick* My work here is done! Indigo x

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  15. Amazingly creepy and amazingly wonderful. Now I'm going to ruin it by admitting something. I am tired. I need glasses... and I have a drink next to me. I read "Peering carefully over the edge" as "Peeing carefully over the edge." I am OH SO SORRY.

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    1. Hey Katherine! I forgive you, we're all strung out by this time. And good grief, there's so much of it left. Indigo x

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  16. I'm convinced that this scary story is actually about Nicky and Mike's 30 Days Minus 2 of Writing. And that truly is frightening.

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    1. Hey Mike! I'm looking ahead at the prompts, and it sure scares the hell out of me. Indigo

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  17. That dark chuckling will get you every time.

    Pearl

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    1. Hey Pearl! What was that about Chuck the Duckling? Indigo x

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  18. Is this what they call a self-referential extended metaphor? I love the structure of this post. You start off in heavy figurative language, then call attention to it as if you're going to write plainly in the remaining sentences, and then you cap it with something abstract. As a reader, I was pleasantly surprised.

    Also, great descriptive language. It all felt very menacing.

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    1. Hey KZ! Well, I can honestly say you thought more about it than I did =) But Sir, I'm pleased you liked it, whatever I did. Indigo

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