Thursday, February 21, 2013

The Ruin Of Their Lives

I was a bad lad yesterday, and posted nothing.

Nicky and Mike over at We Work For Cheese are running a writing challenge throughout February.

I am unrepentant.

Tho I did publish The Other Shoe earlier today.

That’s right; I’m bad.



The city was burning.

Though it was night, the sky was lit from the mouth of hell, and the screams of the dying hung desperately to its edge.

Behind her in the ruin of their lives together, her husband and children were gone, lost to this senseless war.

Ahead, the railway line ushered her into the darkness of an unknown future.

This was the last train out of the city, and she was on it.


Indigo

This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2012/2013




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32 comments:

  1. nonamedufus21/02/2013, 16:58

    Oh my. Short and not so sweet. Nevertheless moving, Indigo.

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:19

      Thanks Dufus! I have brevity issues, glad you enjoyed. Indigo

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  2. Jack Sparrow21/02/2013, 17:27

    Incredible feeling of loss and hope in such a short piece of writing. Well done, Indigo! x

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:19

      Hey Jack! Thanks! I'm kinda pleased with it. Indigo

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  3. Tami Von Zalez21/02/2013, 17:28

    Seems our characters were involved in the same catastrophe ~

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:20

      Hey Tami! It's a small world, isn't it? Indigo x

      Delete
  4. Linda Medrano21/02/2013, 18:26

    Very very impressive! I love the rhythm and tightness of this little piece!

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:22

      Hey Linda! Glad you enjoyed this one, it was (no pun intended, shoulda used it for Dufus) a bit of a departure. Indigo x

      Delete
  5. laughingmom21/02/2013, 18:45

    Oh, so many questions left unanswered - curses!

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:22

      Hey Amy! Leave them wanting more! Indigo x

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  6. Ziva21/02/2013, 20:03

    This is a great piece of writing, Indigo. Emotional and thought-provocing and achingly tragic. Great job. :)

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:27

      Hey Ziva! I was a bit unsure about the lack of badgers, but I'm rather pleased with it. Thanks Z! Indigo x

      Delete
  7. Linda21/02/2013, 20:20

    Sad and emotional, but a lot said in this short piece.

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:28

      Thanks Linda, I'm glad you liked it =) Indigo

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  8. life in the mom lane21/02/2013, 21:53

    reminds me of Gone With the Wind.... :)

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:30

      Hey Barb! I'm ashamed to say I've neither read nor seen it, but I really should, right? Thanks for the nudge. Indigo

      Delete
  9. Paula Wooters21/02/2013, 23:18

    Intriguing! Succinct and moving.

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:32

      Hey Paula! Thanks, you're too kind. Hey, we never did finish that phone call fom Christmas - I'll give you a shout. Roth x

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  10. nickyf22/02/2013, 00:38

    You pack quite a punch, my friend. Powerful piece, Indigo.

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:34

      Hey Nicky! Thank you, and as a new piece, I hope it's brevity will nevertheless excuse me any grief/torment/zzzzt today. Indigo x

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  11. meleah rebeccah22/02/2013, 04:35

    Whoa. Very powerful!

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  12. Mariann Simms22/02/2013, 06:17

    That was a quite cheery read.

    Only kidding - short but tragic...but perhaps a happy ending...or maybe death. But - we all are moving toward an uncertain future, aren't we?

    I liked it, tho.

    And, can I call you "Indy" - or "Indi"? Just wondering if it has been tried before...I think it was the "train" concept which made me think of it.

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:40

      Hey Mariann! You're right about the future, but I remain doggedly optimistic. And "Indi" would be fine, tho "Hey, Roth!" works well ;) Indigo x

      Delete
  13. P.J.22/02/2013, 06:25

    Whether short or not, very well done, Indigo.

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  14. Yamini MacLean22/02/2013, 16:24

    Hari Om
    Hats off to you Sir. This is testament to the premise that less is more.

    ...and thanks for clearing up my confusion about the missing day. Thought it was a case of my menoceasaloidical again. Point is I noticed. Gotta have my daily Indigo!

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:38

      Hey Yamini! I'm glad you enjoyed this tiny dose of Roth!

      Delete
  15. AngelConradie23/02/2013, 04:55

    Wow. That was powerful.
    I love this line: "...the sky was lit from the mouth of hell, and the screams of the dying hung desperately to its edge."

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    1. Indigo Roth23/02/2013, 11:36

      Hey Angel! Lovely to see you over here, cool cake lady! I rather liked that one too, glad you liked it =) Indigo

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  16. KZ24/02/2013, 12:46

    This took me by surprise. I saw none of your customary surrealism -- only the rawness of sorrow. This is a sad, effective statement, Indigo. I take my hat off to you, because it's very well written.

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    1. Indigo Roth25/02/2013, 00:45

      Hey KZ! Thank you, Sir! This was very different for me, and it was nice to exercise some other muscles. Tho for a poignant tale of loss, you might enjoy THE LONG ROAD HOME. Thanks, Indigo

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