It is a well known fact that when you take a questionable action, consequences will follow.
Never is this less true than in the field of time travel.
For example, the following were printed in 1903 by the U.S. Postal Service.
(Click on it, there's lots of detail)
The
1-cent stamp features
my favourite arch-genius and bestest friend before he changed his name. Printed with ebony ink, it proved virtually impossible to locate one of these in a dark room, and many were lost. This hard-to-find philatelic legend will forever be known among hardcore stamp enthusiasts as the
Very Black.
The
2-cent stamp bears an unusually-decaffeinated
Eolist Petite. Initially these were printed with the blood of her husband, but this practice was short-lived as he kept waking up. Beloved of collectors as the first stamp to ever feature a woman (they didn't get out much), this gem is known fondly as the
Tiny Red.
The
5-cent stamp displays the mug of yours truly, just after a bad haircut. A large batch was accidentally printed on sandpaper, giving it the nickname of the
Rough Roth. Despite its value being common for long-distance mail, it proved unpopular as nobody wanted to lick it. Still, the colour's nice.
The
9-cent stamp is an unconventional offering, just like its subject, the
Minneapolis blogger, Pearl. The multicoloured sheen was a printing error; three-parts ink to one-part gin. This limited the print run of this rarity to a single sheet, most of which were enjoyed with ice and lemon. The
Pearly Wonder remains highly sought after and priceless.
How did this happen? It's a long tale, but let's just say that President Teddy Roosevelt was a better president than he was gambler. Or skateboarder.
Indigo
The original 1903 Ulysses Grant 4c stamp can be viewed here
This blog entry is protected by copyright © Indigo Roth, 2012
So who is on the half-penny stamp? As usual your art work is fantastic and the story is just short of "bite down on that whilst we attach electrodes to your scalp".
ReplyDeleteOh hush, troublemaker. Will I never be allowed to forget? And thank you. Roth
DeleteTroublemaker - you flatter me with your silken untrustworthy words
DeleteI'm a part-time liar. It's a hobby.
DeleteOMG! This is hysterical. What a clever, funny, original genius you are, my friend. I'm honored to know you.
ReplyDeleteHey Jayne! As ever, you're far too kind; this is just too much fun to do. It was almost as much fun as watching Teddy Roo fail to grind down that handrail at the Lincoln Memorial. Indigo x
Deletepity that all that bloodletting never cured the man...
ReplyDeleteHey Eolist! It didn't? Man, we need to try harder. Perhaps some combination of a woodchipper and a juicer? Indigo x
DeleteYou really must stop watching Fargo every time you get together with Ms. Petite.
Delete*slaps forehead* Of course! I now realise where she got the woodchipper idea from!
DeleteI always love revisionist history. In this case, it's very funny, and slightly unsettling in an international-conspiracy kind of way.
ReplyDeleteHey Nancy! I'm with you. In T2 they pondered that the future is not set, it's what we make. I prefer to think the same of the past. Like the moon landing that I faked with 'Difficult using tin foil and cardboard. The pay was good, too! Indigo
DeleteCan we be clear here? Are these the self-affixing stamps or the lickable kind?
ReplyDeleteIf you need me, I'll be around, probably in the upper left-hand corner...
Honored and amused,
Pearl
Hey Pearl! Now you come to ask, I'm not sure they even had gum on the paper back then? Man, I really should look things up before I write about them. But for the sake of decency, we'll say they were pasted on with flour and water. Delighted it hit the spot =) Indigo x
DeleteHave you ever thought about investing in this time travel malarky? It seems a bit of a waste not to. I would have thought that with a modicum of research you could find a few companies to invest in say back in '03 who through time turned into mega corporations and stuff making you a gazzillionaire in the process. Maybe you could have bought a few bits and bobs that would become collectors items or started the first international coffee chain.
ReplyDeleteOr you could just have gone along to see the first flight by Orville Wright and seen the Curies get the Nobel prize........
{I know - you;ll probably tell me about those consequences whatsits.......}
Hey Alistair! There are a few universities/companies doing just that, but it's all about transmission of information rather than sending people through time, and still firmly grounded in the realms of theoretical physics. I'm just glad that my dear amigo makes such adventures easy, even if we have to keep the tech to ourselves. Indigo
DeleteHow did I know you'd take Pearl with you one of these trips?
ReplyDeleteHey Joshua! Well, we stopped by Michigan to pick Eolist up, and we'd not have heard the end of it if we'd not swung by Minneapolis. Wrong end of the country for your good self, Sir. Plus, you've never revealed your dashing good looks! Indigo
DeleteI put my new beard up on Twitter. Does that count?
DeleteI put my nasal hair on eBay.
DeleteHey Joshua! Sadly, a full-face image is required for stamps. Apart from the notorious 1953 bag on head series. By the way, what Max doesn't say is he sells it as tobacco. Indigo
DeleteBeautiful work Mr. Roth!!
ReplyDeleteHey Kato! We actually have the late, great Horace del Rio to thank; it's his unsteadily-gaited genius that is celebrated in these stamps. Allegedly tipsy from 1892 until his tragic pipe-smoking death in 1911, the candle of his genius burned brightly until 1936, at which point they had to change his wick. We salute him. Indigo
Delete