Indigo Roth: 2012

Monday, December 31, 2012

* Never To The Hardy Boys

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is 1 ROTH 10:1-27

Paperback and Kindle:
Amazon USA, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon ES, Amazon IT, Amazon JP, Amazon India

Kindle only:
Amazon Brazil, Amazon Mexico, Amazon Australia

Monday, December 24, 2012

Twas the night before Christmas
In his home full of cheer
Roth was adding last touches
And toasting the year

He checked his list carefully
His work was all done
And he sighed with relief, it
Was time for some fun!

The cards they were posted and
The presents all wrapped
There was food in the fridge and
His visits were mapped

In his front room, resplendent
His tree with a star
Which recalled the old tale of
Three wise men afar

As he sat reminiscing
Of true tales he'd told
He remembered all those who
Were out in the cold

So he called on the badgers
And toasted their sett
Then he played them at dice and
He lost ev'ry bet

Roth returned to his house and
He closed his back door
And his ears they were filled with
A welcoming roar

So he popped in on Kingy
The lion upstairs
And they buried the hatchet
Then drew up some chairs

They shared cold cuts of zebra
With cheese, port and bread
And then, both of them weary
They farewelled to bed

As he put on pyjamas
Brushed teeth to both ends
Roth counted his blessings;
Health, family and friends

And so long before midnight
With a hot milk in bed
Roth watched Monty Python
Then slept like the dead

And when Santa came calling
He left them cool things
Three new BluRays for Roth and
Three new ties for King

Then old Santa's eye twinkled
He'd a long way to go
But he'd just time to leave them
A blanket of snow

Twas the night before Christmas
And all round the Earth
Folk were adding last touches
And toasting new birth

HAVE A MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

LET'S RAISE A TOAST TO ALL OF US, SUCH AS WE ARE!

I WISH YOU SNOW!

Indigo

Monday, December 17, 2012

A Change To Scheduled Programming

The future is a wonderful, scary place.

And it's pretty darned big.

I'm on a journey, with some idea where I'm headed.

I'll need some help. This comes to mind:

There's some things you can't find in shops.
There's some things you can't find in books.
There's some things you can't find anywhere.
But somehow we find them in other people.

I hope you'll join me, one and all.

And no, no photo today.

Indigo

Monday, December 03, 2012

Dreaming And Scheming No Longer

Sometimes the best way to tell a story is straight.

But before I get going, may I just say this is good news?

Friday was my final day with my employer.

There have been layoffs in prospect for over three months.

For reasons I'll explain in a moment, I was keen to leave, and told my boss so. Luckily, when it came for the decision to be made, he chose me.

You're remembering this is good news, right? No? Quick, relax with this:

Pacman never looked so good. Better? Okay, I'll continue.

I've been with the company for thirteen years.

When I was laid off, I received a very generous severance deal.

This means that I can take a long sabbatical without worrying about money.

I have time and space and resources behind me.

And so I'm going to write a book.

Called FUNNY BADGERS, it will be a feature-length version of this blog.

Yes, yes, it's all about me; are you surprised?

Plus a lion, a bear, various badgers, Abbey, Eolist and 'Difficult.

Oh, and Elliot.

And a Squiddrel.

There's even a rumour that my agent Ziva will put in a scene-stealing cameo.

As you can imagine, I'm very happy about this.

You’re totally feeling the good news now, right?

I've been distracted of late, and it's puzzled and worried a few.

It's been stressful, waiting for confirmation while dreaming and scheming.

But now the deal is done, I can share it with you without jinxing it.

I wanted you all to be the first to know.

Huge thanks to my sanity throughout this.

Indigo

Friday, November 23, 2012

* Eyeing A Beer Suspiciously

This blog entry has been removed, revised and included in the romping sci-fi epic TESTAMENT: FUNNY BADGERS by Indigo Roth, Red Angel Publishing, 2013.

Its reference in the book is ELLIOT 3:1-61

Paperback and Kindle:
Amazon USA, Amazon UK, Amazon Canada, Amazon FR, Amazon DE, Amazon ES, Amazon IT, Amazon JP, Amazon India

Kindle only:
Amazon Brazil, Amazon Mexico, Amazon Australia

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Maybe Sometime Soon

Tonight's blog entry is a tale of obsession.

Back in the late seventies, when I was maybe ten years old, I was tormented by this advert for the Micronauts toy range:

I adored the Micronauts toys, and owned them all.

Well, almost all.

I had a Time Traveler, a Biotron and a Microtron and many of the other actions figures and vehicles in the original manufacturing run.

But I could never buy an Acroyear.

As a healthy lad with "completist" tendencies, this drove me crazy. Man, I wanted that damned thing. Real bad. It was way cooler than all the others. It had wings, huge feet with wheels, and I knew from another photo that it even came with a shiny sword!

It probably flew, for heaven's sake!

I live in the UK as you know, and back then there were no big toy stores like Toys'R'Us. Just small highstreet shops. It really wasn't a shopper's paradise. But nevertheless, I set my mind to the task of getting an Acroyear.

I dragged my parents into every toyshop I saw for over a year, searching for this damned figure. I asked shopkeepers about it. They shrugged and said Maybe sometime soon. And I kept on looking.

Months passed, and I became increasingly desperate. I begged store owners to find out how to get me one now. I couldn't wait any longer! Had I not been spending someone else's money, I would have promised them a tenfold increase in price just to put one of these beautiful, elusive, and unbelievably cool toys in my hand.

I even wrote to the company in the States, asking why I couldn't buy one. They never replied.

And eventually, beaten, I moved on.

Thirty years passed. I became a man.

And when I became a man, I put away childish things.

Then an odd thing happened a few weeks ago. I saw an Acroyear for sale on eBay. I smiled and basked in the glow on nostalgia for a moment. My, how I'd longed for one of those when I was a kid. Yes sir, I surely did. Thirty years ago. Thirty. Years. Man, that had bugged me at the time. I'd tried so hard. The very thought of owning one had excited me for months, and then it made me miserable for twice as long when I couldn't get one. Why had it been so hard?

Damn, I had wanted one.

Damn, I still wanted one.

Involuntarily, in the present, my eye twitched.

I placed a bid, then another and another. For two days I watched and bid on the bloody thing, the price slowly creeping up. I eventually won, but had to cough up close to fifty bucks to pay for it and have the thing shipped to me from the States. Had I bought an unopened "NRFB" (Never Remove From Box) figure from eBay, it would cost me two or three times that amount.

There's a lesson in there somewhere.

Anyway, my Acroyear figure arrived today. The figure was sold as used, with no box. It looks played with and well loved; it probably gave some ten year old kid hours of enjoyment back in the late seventies.

And it's complete. Just as I imagined. Wings, wheels, even the shiny sword. Here it is:

It's just as well I didn't spring for the unopened original; it would have been a waste. I wouldn't have been able to leave it in the box.

I wanted to hold my Acroyear, just like I never did as a kid.

And hold it I did.

For fans of Charles Foster Kane, this is my Rosebud.

This little man now sits on my window sill at work, next to the big man who owns it. If anyone asks, and I hope they do, I'll tell them the story I'm telling you. They'll see me smile and think I'm weird, no doubt. A forty year old playing with toys.

You have to be obsessive to understand obsession, and the strange things it makes us do.

And now, of course, the punchline. While I was searching for pictures of the original advert at the top of this entry, I found out two things from a Micronauts fan site.

Firstly, the UK distributors never sold it. They decided that the range was too big, and chose not to bother with the Acroyear figure in this country. No store in the UK ever had it on sale. I spent so much time and effort looking and asking and begging, and was never told that one key fact by anyone selling the toys.

Pardon me for a moment while I curse my youthful obsessiveness.

And the shopkeepers. Bastards.

Secondly, I discovered the following photo:

Yes, the original Acroyear figure came in not just one colour, but three. Gold, pink and blue.

Somewhere in the distance, a dog barked.

And, involuntarily, my eye twitched.

Indigo

Captain's Blog - Supplemental

And since I wrote this, almost three years ago, I have now finally tracked down a pink one! Just blue to go!

Captain's Blog - Supplemental^2

Oh blimey, finally! Game, match, and SET!

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sweeping Up The Splinters

Whenever I hear a knock at the door, I never expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Thankfully, they're not there when I step away from my Godzilla marathon on TV to answer it. It's Ziva, Finland's answer to a very-tiny-but-important question. The diva gazes up at most of me from her tall heels. We've had dealings before, not least of which was what became known in hushed tones as The Istanbul Incident.

Roth! she beams, with something approaching tolerance, We need something from you! By "we" the crazy Finn means her and Mike, Colorado's long-lost Heir to the Dead-Letter Throne Of America. The duo have recently masterminded the 30 Days Of Photography Challenge.

I took part. I broke rules. I didn't care. Ziva told me in no uncertain terms that I was now On Her List. I have no idea what that means, but goshdarnit, it sounds interesting, doesn't it?

Ziva! I smile shyly.

You might be a slacker, my dear Indigo, she shrugs kindly, but we have need of your peculiar talents. As I look blankly at her, she chuckles, As someone very tall once said to me, It's Steam-Engines when it comes Steam-Engine-Time!

I consider this with all due solemnity for a moment.

Eh?

Your outtakes, man! she smiles, somewhat worryingly. You promised us extra photos that you didn't use in the challenge!

I did?

You do remember, don't you?

She shakes her long dark hair and I forget my name for a moment.

So, when can we have them? Now is good.

I have visions of Vikings roaring across the frozen wastelands. I am caught in their bloodied headlights.

Oh, yes, of course. Well, you'd better come in then.

She tap-taps into my hallway and closes the door behind us.

I'll just turn Godzilla off.

There's no need. It turns out she's a fan.

So. Here's my spare photos.

And Instabul? Oh, it was cool. We made bail.

Day 13 – Calm 2

The Mathematical Bridge in Cambridge, sheltering a huddle of sleepy punts. I fail to see how it could get much calmer.

Day 25 – Video 2

This alternate take has some lovely footage of a very cheeky bird.

Day 27 – Kafkaesque 2

Folk struggled with this one. So I'm posting my second. I blame Mike, and so should you; he thought of the damned word.

Day 28 – Autumn 2

"The House was out of time. Every year new leaves fell, but inside their ring the House endured; it was changeless, lost."

Day 28 – Autumn 3

My final photo of this challenge. Weird, isn't it? My favourite tree in Cambridge.

Indigo

Monday, October 29, 2012

Dashing For The Line

Can you see it? Look, over there! The finishing line!

Okay, so here we are, poised for me to finish up on the 30 Days Of Photography Challenge. The mutant ankle-biter of bloggers Ziva and Mike, this challenge sets a different topic every day for a month; one topic, one photo, every day.

Two weeks ago, I did the first fourteen days as a single entry. Yes, I'm a foolish lad, with naked ambition.

Last week, I did another seven. Did you hear me roar?

And now, it's time for the back nine. Tiger Woods would be proud.

So now, we're almost done. It's been a blast, kids. By which I mean I feel I've been blown up, shot at, pushed through the wringer and roundly whipped in the course of the month.

But what is life without a few trials?

I Blame Ziva.

You know, I really must get that printed on a t-shirt.

Day 22 – Neutral

"High above the world, the moon looked down. She witnessed everything that happened in the howling dark, but offered no comment, opinion, or intervention. Truly she was a neutral presence."

Day 23 – Underwater

As the light of life faded, the last thing she saw was his face gazing down at her through the water.

Day 24 – M&Ms

Look, for once I have to blame Mike; I'm not foolish enough to blame Ziva for standing with my mouth open. No, Sir.

Day 25 – Video

Listen to the words, people. This line is mostly filler.

Day 26 – Heart

I visited my home town recently, and was dismayed to see much of its centre being demolished to make way for New Things. I was partly dismayed because I am a Mistruster of Things Unproven. But mostly it was because they were tearing the heart out of my town.

Day 27 – Kafkaesque

Look, if you don't understand, explaining it won't help. Like a dog!

Day 28 – Autumn

I'm rather proud of this.

Day 29 – The City

"Beneath a brilliant blue sky, the grey city toiled.
The sky wanted the people to look up, to feel inspired, but they did not.
They continued to look down at the grey tedium of their lives,
And the rough road beneath their feet."

Day 30 – Blackout

Kidnap victim? Kinkster? Or just really bad at putting a tie on?

The choice is yours.

Indigo